The Killing Moon

I feel like dying. Today. Yesteday. The day before yesterday.

Opus 55

I keep thinking when was the last time when I posted a recipe. This was going to be something like a food blog but...Maybe I'm thinking too much about food, that I don't want to write about it here. However, I want to share with you one easy tomato soup recipe.

Rubbed tomato soup 

You'll need:

• four fresh or  tinned tomatoes;
• a medium head of onion;
• one red pepper;
• some spicies: basil, white peppers, salt or whatever you want.
• (some people prefer to include carrot, but I don't like the taste).

First of all, you boil a little bit of water in the pot. Don't pour too much water, just as much as it needs to submerge (I hope this is the right word) the onions. Boil a little bit and then add the red pepper. In other pot put the tomatos if they are fresh, boil a little bit and then withdraw them, add a little bit of cold water and then peel off the skin. When red pepper become soft add tomato and boil everything fo a while. Then take from the stove, mash it, at some spicies and put on the stove. Stir on the small heat, that the spicies would mix with the soup. And that's it!

Easy, tasty and not calorific. :)

Fantasia

          Sometimes I write. I write about things that don't really exist. It's the first day of New Year and a lot of people are full of excitement believing that this would be better for them. I don't blame them as I wnat the same thing. But... usually when the new year starts you are feeling that it's a new beginning of something. You clean your room, change your bedding and start creating plans for better year (or list as I did for the first time). You feel that the air you are breathing is different as you try to believe that you'll reach something this year, that you spend your time thoughtfully. Well, as sad as it could be, I don't feel anything. I just wanted to lie in my bed and in one way I did. It just doesn't feel as I new beginning for me as I lost myself somewhere between UK and my country, as my thoughts become lost between two languages. All my older problems are coming back, and I'm afraid of emotional crisis which can overtake me. And there is the strange part... according to the some nature laws we get what we create by ourselver despite if it is good or bad. How it is possible that I done that for myself? How much I have to hate myself that I would put myself into this position again?

But despite everything, Happy New Year! 

Kiss.

The sound of rain

I'm a water person.

Riverside

          I'll start following my promise plan after 1st January, but I try to do my best not eating bad food every day. It isn't working actually, I started feeling fat I can't do much with that. Though, I'm trying not to give up. 

          In these days I feel a little bit miserable despite I should be happy being with my family through the Christmas. But....let me go to the club and dance my ass off...I missed that stupid club music which actually annoyes but when I want to dance I can dance everywhere and with every kind of music. 

          However, I', sitting in my room woth a pile of candles and my room is filled with vanilla taste. I'm looking to the picture of me and my ex-lover, and I don't feel anything warm. That's the biggest problem for me for the last three months. I can't cry, I can't be happy, I feel like a stone. I need to spend more time in the nature and now when I'm at home I'll try to use this possibility as I'm living near the river.

xxx

Be yourself, no matter what they say

          I actually never do that, but this year I decided to make a New Year's promise list as I need to improve a little bit in my life. So these are my promises:

1. Start eating healthy. In this includes: do not eat after 7pm (it would be better after 6pm but sometimes I have lectures till six, and I don't want to miss my dinner); eating three times per day without or with one little snack (an apple or something like that); do not eat junk food!!!
2. To stop overeating. I know this should be written in the first point, but this problem is so big that it need it's own. I don't usually eat junk food or confectionary but when I'm overeating I eat everything (except meat).
3. To be more active, dance, exercise more (yoga, cardio, pilates).
4. Study hard!!!! This is the most important as I'm really lazy person. I need to read more. It's my first year in university so I have to built like a basics for my subject and entire life. P.S. don't forget to party harder. :)))
5. Be more determined and persistency. 

           So yeah, it's not very long. Just some main points which I already know, but I need to remaind them for myself.

Ain't no sunshine

          Sitting in my room with a cup of cofee and laptop on my knees. Candles, music...do I need more? I went home for Christmas holidays and I thought that I will be happy finally siting in my room, walking though the city in which I grew up. However, somehow I feel homesick. Homesich of my new room in UK, of all new environment and people. I can't believe that I won't be able to see people, with who I spent almost three month. I there is one guy, who I like but it seems that he doesn't know that I exsist. Well..maybe it's not so bad, but still, I don't have a chance to see him more than once a week. I have a stupid hope that I'll manage to loose some weight while being at home. When I'm with others, it's easier for me not to eat. 

*I started feeling a true calling of mother nature. I always am coming back to magic. Maybe it's time to be more forceful and do what I want?

xxx

What I eat for breakfast? FRUITS!